Classic Alternatives to Modern Slang
November 7, 2020 • Written by Oliver Trask
These days, trends move faster than ever before. The internet has allowed for new terms to pop up, seemingly from out of nowhere, and dominate the vocabulary of all your peers. We’ve all been in a situation where, by the time you’ve gathered the context to figure out what everyone’s been saying, culture has already moved on. It's hard to keep up. Sometimes, it's easier to rely on some proven terms to get your point across. Here are seven victorian slang alternatives that you can use to cut through all the modern day jargon.
Think back to the last time you experienced great success. Did anyone congratulate you on “getting that dub,” leaving you more than a little lost? This phrase takes two steps to unravel: “dub” being short for “w,” which is an abbreviation of “win.” Far too many words start with w for this really make any sense, like “worm,” for example. It’s much easier to understand “taking the egg,” which saw the peak of it’s usage in the 1830s.
Similar in construction to “getting a dub” is “taking the L” which in this case means “loss.” Here, you’d be better off with “shoot into the brown.” According to 1909’s Passing English of the Victorian era by Andrew Forrester, this is a reference to missing so badly during rifle practice that you end up shooting the ground. Messing up in this situation is a totally universal experience that everyone can relate to, making it far less opaque than a one letter acronym.
On the subject of success, have you ever heard someone call an idea “galaxy brained?” It’s a reference to a meme that was popular in late 2019. Since then it’s been used interchangeably as a genuine compliment to someone’s intellect, and as an insult, to mock someone who thinks they’re much more clever than they really are. A possibly sarcastic joke about a post from over a year ago is a lot to keep track of. Instead, try “afternoonified”. According to Forrester, it’s a late 19th century high society alternative to “smart and dignified.”
These double meanings run rampant across the patois of America’s teenagers. You don’t have to be on the internet for long without running into kids referring to any manner of things as “lit.” As is so often the problem with slang, it can be used both for someone who is intoxicated, or just something that’s a generally good time. This ambiguity is a disaster waiting to happen. If you’re interested in talking about someone who’s drunk, “arf’arf’an’arf” is the phrase for you. It’s directly referencing someone who’s had too many half pints, often called ‘arfs at the time. And if talking about a great party, nineteenth century sailors would call that a “benjo,” according to BBC America.
The internet’s vernacular has provided a million ways to describe a woman’s body (which is a concern in its own right, but a problem for a different article.) She could be thicc, snatched, or any other number of things. It’s far too confusing. “Behindativeness,” used at the turn of the 20th century, is a much more straightforward pick. As the root “behind” suggests, the appraisal is focused on a particular area. If you’re looking to class up your next trip into that Instagram model’s dms, this is the lingo you need.
Finally, if you’ve ever been called a “player”, you first need to reevaluate your behavior. Once you’ve come to grips with the error of your ways, you might need a term to identify these misogynist actions in others. “Player” offers too much room for confusion, and the language itself implies giving people the run around like this is a game. What’s needed is something far more direct, with a less flattering connotation. In the 1870’s they called these types a “gal-sneaker.” The inherent creepiness in this expression might help discourage further playing with someone’s feelings.
Should you find yourself overwhelmed by what kids these days are up to, you’re now equipped with seven impossibly fashionable terms to find comfort in. Because in the busy, complicated, and ever-changing 21st century, it's nice to know that some things stay the same, and that nothing, under any circumstances, ever goes out of style.
